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A Grooms Top Ten Relationships Success Tips - 2007

by @ 2:54 pm on 2005/11/06. Filed under Relationships, Wedding

For all you grooms who have straight hair, short means between 1 inch and 2 inch’s long for the hair on top of your head then ask your barber to trim all the edges around the ears and back of the neck with scissors not the electric trimmer. You’re going for a NO SCALP look, anywhere on your head.A Grooms Top Ten Success Tips - 2007

Stock Mutual Funds

Princess Raven-Dance

All you need to do, is save half of your salary for 5 years and put it into a stock mutual fund (emphasis on emerging markets). Then, just before you get married switch the whole thing into her name and surprise her at your wedding party! Let her watch it grow throughout you’re your entire life together, it’s like planting a tree. All you have to do is watch it grow and after your 5-year mark, you don’t even need to put any more seed money into it. Show your wife how to find a compound interest calendar online and she’ll see exactly how much she’ll be worth in 30 or 40 years. –This is the one gift from you — that will never stop giving!

http://www.russell.com/us/investment_products/russell_funds/emerging_markets.asp

Slow and Serious

Do this for her, and she will respect you and stay with you through good times and bad. Here’s the stock mutual fund address, our family’s financial advisor recommends for everyone in 2007:

Eyebrows

Also, rings are usually difficult to push on over the knucklebone so place a dap of Vaseline on your knuckle just before you go down the aisle and she’ll slip that baby on with no struggle. This sums up your life now, doing hidden things to make her life easier and better without her even knowing about it! - Because love is an action.

If you’re in the military or a rock band or one of the few exceptions where your profession forces a certain haircut then, of course you should keep that look, but for the majority of all grooms, as short as possible with out showing off your scalp, is the look that is best for your wedding day and beyond. Also I repeat, no haircuts on the wedding day, the last haircut should be at least 2 days previous to the wedding, ensuring no stray hair clippings fall out on you face or clothes during the ceremony. No hair dyes or anything that forces attention on to you — All natural on this day please and hopefully for the next 80 years or so! You’re a man! Going gray makes a man look distinguished and dyeing your hair makes you look vain and week - Go natural for her sake!

This will take a few visits to get your skin blemish free, so give yourself at least 6 months to a year before your ceremony to surprise her with a toned, tanned perfect body to devour on your honeymoon. 2007 says NO to body hair - period even have your face and neck lasered, it’ll save you thousands of hours shaving. This’ll also save your shirt collars, jackets etc… from being eaten up by the stubble.

This won’t be an issue for you anymore if you follow the advice above, but if you don’t have time to get professionally de-haired, then shave your face yourself on this big day. No professional shaves on the day of the wedding or the day before. Professional shaves use a straight razor and often get so close they irritate the skin, leaving red bumps on the back of your neck and under your nose. Stick with your normal shaving methods and make sure you’re clean shaved; no mustache, beards or long side burns on this day or for the rest of your life!

All necklaces, rings, body piercings, watch’s, palm pilots, cell phones… get rid of it all! Hopefully forever, but at least for your wedding day, try to give her center stage and your full attention. LET HER be the woman in the relationship!

Beautiful teeth, are for beautiful people, and beautiful people are ALWAYS the most successful — If you haven’t noticed this by now, then open your eyes! Every successful person on TV, in magazines, in every high management position, the person who is the best in whatever field they pursue — they all have great teeth!

1. Stock Mutual Funds

From the walk down the aisle and for the rest of your life together, always be reaching for her, touching her making her feel needed. Woman need to be touched and talked to as much as possible, most men touch their dogs more than their wives!

Just before you come out of the changing room give yourself a quick electric shave to make you look your best for the pictures!

7. No Haircuts or trims on your wedding day

Touch Her!

Skin

Make each moment special, go very slow with putting on the ring, and hold her hand and look her in the eye and whisper something she’ll remember forever! Same thing when lifting the veil, she worked really hard for this moment, maybe years! without your knowing it, so when you lift that veil you’d better REALLY “look at her” — your own original Mona Lisa!

Try to look your best for your bride and that means from today on. She should never catch you shaving yourself in the bathroom like a woman, or even worse asking her shave you like a sheep! Get your hair removed! 2007 and on says NO to body hair.

3. Smug Mug.com

No plucking or razor cutting or shaping of your eyebrows, you’re not a girl, and this type of treatment is sooo obvious to everyone and only makes you look week and vain. Maybe you ARE week and vain, but try to cover it up by not touching your eyebrows for at least 2 months before the wedding, Natural is best for men in 2007 and wild eyebrows add to your manliness, let your eyebrows grow wild, you’re a man! Stop plucking!

2. Surprise Gifts for your Bride - something blue…

6. Visit a skin clinic

This gift doesn’t have to be expensive but it does have to be blue! Something she can keep forever like a blue sapphire bracelet (practice hooking it on a friends wrist, so you look smooth putting it on) or a blue handkerchief with some heart felt words stitched on it in gold thread, be creative and keep it secret until the first song in your ceremony, then slip it to her! — It must be the color BLUE for traditional good luck and happiness for the rest of your married days.

8. Brush your teeth and take a mint just before the ceremony starts

No haircuts or trims on your wedding day- little pieces of hair will fall on your face and clothes and distract the people whom you love.

Finances or the lack there of, is the number 1 excuse for divorce today. To keep your wife happy give her the security she needs - Get a job and Make a plan! It doesn’t matter if your flipping burgers at McDonald’s, you just need a steady income to invest.

Have your hair washed and styled by a professional the morning of your wedding, (you’ll have to remind him NO TRIMMING) he will make sure that your hair is perfect! Not plastered to your head-or sticking up like a porcupine, your barber will find the perfect middle. In 2007 parting your hair in a line is out, no parts! — have it slightly moused up to make your hair look full without looking like a porcupine or showing any of your scalp.

Give your bride a man whom she can point to with pride. Smooth, healthy and young! With a touch of cologne, that means one drop, as in one eye drop’s worth of cologne - if you get more than this on your hands wash them off and try again- literally, one drop of cologne can be pleasant but never over powering.

Smells are mostly subliminal but very important; stay erotic to her subliminally with clean fresh smells everywhere (wink). Especially this day of all days try to smell good, wear deodorant, and a light touch of cologne and have breath mints in your pockets at all times.

Professional skin clinics everywhere now offer laser hair removal; if you have the time and money - go for it! You go in and ask for all hair on your body to be removed except on the top of your head and eyebrows, everything else should be gone including warts, moles, freckles, tattoos, varicose veins and blemishes of any sort.

Open up a photo site before your big day and add the site address to your wedding invitations. People can look it up and see pictures of you and your bride growing up. Read about your future plans together, and learn how they can help you fulfill your dreams, which includes wanting a complete record of your whole wedding day! This is the site where they can each upload beautiful photos and videos of everything good and bad on your wedding day! These uploads will create a beautiful memory for your wife for everyone else to enjoy forever! But especially your wife!

Smug Mug.com

You’re wearing a ring for one reason, for her! You’d give your life for her remember? So if it gives her security and happiness then you should get the biggest darn ring you can find! Shout it out to the world that you’re taken — and happy about it! Don’t get a matching ring set, they’re silly, just choose a wide comfortable band that says her name and wedding date, etched on the OUTSIDE of the ring!

Look around you, losers have bad teeth and winners have good teeth. You now have a good woman, who is depending on you to be the best, and if that means you need to look foolish for a couple of months with braces on your teeth, then so be it, get it done for her sake, and your own future success in the real world. Get those teeth fixed! And get your teeth cleaned professionally by a dentist at least every 6 months and re-whitened once a year - put these dates on your calendar!

Some of you have hair that is disappearing in front and will try to cover it up by combing it forward, this looks incredibly dumb and everyone will laugh at you behind your back, just tough it out and cut it shorter as it recedes, your about to be married, so do it for her, she doesn’t need all her friends laughing at her husband for combing his hair forward or God forbid combing it over!

10. Touch Her!

If you don’t have the time to work and save it all yourself, ask your family, her family and friends to donate even a couple hundred dollars a piece into her “Security” account and you can have it set up in a week or two ready to be announced at the wedding party. If this is how you raise the money, then be sure to give everyone credit for it at the party.

Shaving

When you put the ring on her hand and when you lift the veil you need to be serious and slow. You’ll never have this moment again, so savor every second. By your doing this you’ll turn an average ceremony into something sacred. Do it for her.

Grooms Ring

Get them cleaned. You can’t see what everyone else sees, and if you have a big chunk of yellow earwax dangling inside one of your ears it doesn’t look good, get someone to clean your ears before your wedding day!

She’ll know by your actions that she is the most important person in your life, not by your words. Love is an action, not a feeling so start acting like you love her and get rid of all your pretty accessories and put her first in your life - you won’t regret it!

Haircut

Surprise Gifts for your bride…something Blue

Ok, now some of you unlucky grooms are way past receding and are in fact going bald, then shave your head to within a quarter of an inch or shorter — push your shoulders back and be like Jon Luke Picard, the fictional captain on Star Track, the manliest bald man in history! And if you need a little help then grow a small goatee (smaller the better) to make up for it, and then it becomes a “style” instead of a handicap. A nicely trimmed chunk of hair below your bottom lip does wonders with a shaved head for a tough man look. Facial hair in 2007 is restricted to only those with shaved heads, if this is not you then shave off your mustache, beard or goatee immediately-make your bride proud, do it for her.

The proper Groom haircut in 2007 needs to be as short as possible without seeing ANY of your scalp, if you have straight hair or shaved as short as possible if you have an afro. This is the best and only choices for a proper groom in 2007.

That way you can read it and remember her everyday. Some jewelers can even engrave her name in colors to make it STAND OUT. No one else does this, every other groom in the world hides his wife’s name and date of marriage on the inside of the ring, where no one including himself will ever see it again.

Teeth

Get it cleaned up! If you have to start visiting a skin doctor 6 months before the wedding then do it! But try to have perfect, pimple free skin on your wedding day. Do what you have to do, but get nice skin for this day, and for the rest of your life if you can. Today, skin clinics can remove almost any and all blemishes if you give a specialist enough time. Then stay clean and smell like soap and her favorite cologne at all times for the rest of your life together.

Today, it’s even easier to do, they have stock mutual funds that you stick your money into and over time it compounds to amazing amounts with very little risk! No more trying to guess which stock, they spread the risk over thousands of good stocks.

I’ve seen the results first hand with my old friend down the street, who worked for minimum wage as a Janitor, who now is a retired multi-millionaire. He did it he says “by NOT buying things that I thought I needed. Instead I put half of my paycheck into stocks every month, no mater what.”

Today of all days you need to be completely sober, no alcohol or drugs of any sort on your ceremony morning. You need to be slow and in control and very very serious. Maybe you earn your living as a comedian, but for this moment she NEEDS you to be serious. You need to walk slow, move slow and stand tall and mean every word you say.

If you take your time exploring and touching every part of her whenever you have the chance, your married life will be full of joy and laughter!

5. Turn off your phone and take off all jewelry

4. Ring engraved on the outside!

I live in Tokyo Japan and attend “white tie” events every week. I have seen what works and doesn’t work for creating incredible moving moments, and I truly hope that some of the secrets I’ve observed will make your ceremony and your life much more exciting!

Your next set of surprise gifts on this great day, will make her feel like your wife! After the ceremony during the party when your shaking everyones hands, have “thankyou notes” written up by hand in nice little envelopes in your pocket, and give them to your “wife”, one at a time, to hand out so SHE feels wonderful and generous. Little things like this will be what she remembers most of the whole day, and she’ll love you more because of it. - remember this must be a surprise!

Make your wife feel extra special that her husband, not only wants to show the world that he is taken but that he loves her enough to put her name on the outside of the ring, to read everyday! — To show it off as a conversation piece with strangers!

Ears

If you want to earn money even faster, look at some of my other articles and you’ll find many other ideas to help you earn money, fast. - But even with the best ideas, make sure you stash half of your salary into a Stock Mutual Fund over a 5 year period - this is your ace in the hole, your promise to your bride that she’ll always be financially secure.

Get them cleaned, get professional help! The earlier the better, Straighten and whiten professionally. This is a new start in your life, and every tooth should be shiny white. If you have no time and no money at least get a professional cleaning and then use a teeth-whitening kit yourself - it’s better than nothing! And do I need to even say it… stop smoking and start brushing your teeth! You’re a married man now!

9. Slow and SeriousA Grooms Top Ten Success Tips - 2007

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